Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
