and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
