We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
