I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
