she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
