Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm determined to sit on that face.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
