i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
