Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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