Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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