he thought i was a dude.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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