AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
