The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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