Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
