I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
