im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sex in the backyard? Check.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
