..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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