no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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