Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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