Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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