But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
