that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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