my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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