Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
