fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So much rum. So many feels.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
