Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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