I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
