There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
