I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
