Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
