how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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