If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
