ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's shark week go big or go home
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
