the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
