ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
