theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
a search helicopter?!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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