if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
