We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
