playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize