He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
