my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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