Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
