I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
