how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize