I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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