Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sarcasm needs its own font
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
