I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
