he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
