My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
