I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
