what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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