I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize