the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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