that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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