Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize