Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize