We're facebook friends in real life
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
