I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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