No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it because I queefed?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
