The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize