So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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