I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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