i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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