No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
