She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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