and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
