I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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