I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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