bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How external is "for external use only"?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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