whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
