I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize