Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize