Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
